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Chapter 09
From that day on, I stopped attending evening self–study sessions. Daniel would tutor me at home instead.
He said his threat to beat me wasn’t a joke. He would often whack my head with a
book.
Sometimes, with tears in my eyes, I would clutch my head and protest, “Don’t hit my head! It’ll make me dumber!”
He would lazily lean against my headboard. “Is it even possible for you to get any
dumber?”
“Hurry up. If you can’t memorize this essay by tonight, don’t even think about eating dinner.”
I stared at the English words crawling across the page like little bugs, feeling like my brain cells were dying off one by one.
“Can’t I not memorize it? This is way too hard!”
Daniel played his video game and said, “Sure, if you can write it out without
memorizing, that works too. Go ahead and write it then.”
Fuming, I had no choice but to start the arduous process of rote memorization, word by word.
Daniel said my foundation was too weak and made me memorize vocabulary every day. He even had me learn GRE vocab from a thick red book.
I asked if it was really necessary just for the college entrance exam.
He scoffed. “It is if you want to get into Harvard. You think any random person can just go there to mess around?”
“If you can’t even memorize this little bit, I suggest you go apologize to people
now and admit you’re a good–for–nothing!”
Provoked by his words, I started memorizing vocabulary with the book in hand every day.
My home’s bathroom, dining room, bedside vocab flashcards were everywhere. From the moment I opened my eyes, I would start memorizing until I fell asleep at night.
1/6
09
Under this high–intensity studying regimen, although English passages were still somewhat incomprehensible to me, they no longer seemed like complete
gibberish.
“You need to understand, the most important thing for learning English is developing a feel for the language. The so–called ‘techniques‘ are for ordinary people. If you want to get into Harvard, you must make English your second language.”
Daniel made me memorize English news articles and essays every day. I would stare miserably at the complex essays in front of me, memorizing them sentence by sentence.
After who knows how long, I finally managed to memorize it with great difficulty. Daniel checked it over, looking a bit pained.
“Still not good enough. Your foundation is too weak! But at least it’s better than before. You must memorize this entire book within three months, got it?”
I nodded. Belatedly, I felt a squeezing, churning sensation in my stomach. I had forgotten that I still hadn’t eaten dinner.
Daniel also heard my stomach growl and chuckled. “Alright, go eat.”
In this manner, with each day blurring into the next, midterms quickly arrived. Sitting at my desk, I wiped the sweat from my palms with a tissue. The time had come to test the results of my studying over these past months.
For two months, I had studied day and night, practically becoming a robot that
only knew how to study.
I had nearly finished memorizing the red vocab book and had memorized who knows how many English essays. I had completed a stack of math practice books a hand–width thick and filled two notebooks with history and politics notes.
What kind of scores would I get? Was there a chance I could come close to Natalie
Wilkinson?
Taking a deep breath, I started the exam.
2/6
09
Some of these questions I was familiar with, others not so much.
Daniel refused to give me any hints on the test content, saying he didn’t want me to take shortcuts. Some of the questions resembled ones I had practiced before, while others left me feeling a bit lost.
I glanced over at Natalie, who was in the same exam room as me. She appeared
calm and composed, her pen flying across the paper. After a moment of thought, she would write down an answer.
Feeling anxious, I forced myself to stop looking at her. I took a deep breath and
started with the questions I knew how to do first.
In the past, I would just doodle on the exam paper and turn in a blank test when
time was up. Back then, time seemed to drag on endlessly. But now, there wasn’t enough of it!
For many questions, I didn’t even have time to carefully think them through. When it was time to turn in the papers, there was still a major question I hadn’t finished! Looking over at Natalie again, she had long since finished and checked her answers. She was now resting with her eyes closed.
I gritted my teeth and told myself not to panic. I had to make the most of the next
subject!
After the exam, Natalie walked over. Smiling, she stood in front of me and said loudly enough for those around us to hear:
“Emily Anderson, there’s no way you could have cheated on this test, right?”
“I suggest you give up now. If you beg me, maybe I won’t make you shout at the school gates!”
I stared at her coldly. “I suggest you don’t get too carried away. Who will be the one shouting remains to be seen. Besides, our bet was for finals, not midterms. There’s no need for you to be in such a rush.”
Her face soured. She tossed out a parting remark before leaving. “Don’t say I
didn’t give you a chance. Do as you wish then.”
3/6
09
The midterms followed the format of the college entrance exam and lasted three
days.
I had never seriously participated in an exam of this intensity before. By the end of the three days, I was utterly exhausted.
Then came the rather long wait for our scores to be released.
When they started handing out the results, I realized my hands were shaking from
nervousness.
But before I could react, all the test papers had been distributed to us. Around me, classmates were whispering to each other, comparing scores. The classroom was abuzz with chatter. Some people even came over to ask about my
results.
But I couldn’t hear anything. Feeling my heartbeat accelerating, I took out a calculator and started adding up my scores for each subject one by one. Chinese: 98, Math: 106, English: 102, History: 94, Biology: 76, Politics: 83… 559 points total.
A small slip of paper was also passed to my desk. Class rank: 27 out of 56. Grade.
rank: 236.
My heart sank.
Our class had 56 students in total. Rank 27 put me squarely in the middle of the
pack.
It was a world of difference from 1st place.
At this time, Natalie’s scores had also come out. She stood at the very front of the classroom, surrounded by people like the moon amidst a cluster of stars. Several classmates excitedly chatted with her.
I gripped my test papers tightly, my heart clenching.
Without even looking, I knew Natalie must have gotten 1st place again..
Indeed, a girl exclaimed as she looked at her test paper: “683, Natalie Wilkinson,
you’re amazing!”
“Yeah, she’s a genius. 148 in math!”
4/6
09
“With this score, she’s got Harvard in the bag, right? What did Jason Brooks get?” “679, second place,” Jason said nonchalantly, smiling at Natalie. “I couldn’t beat you this time either, I admit defeat.”
Natalie didn’t say anything, just curled her lips and glanced back.
I knew she was looking at me.
Only now did I realize the gulf between us was as vast as the sky. My previous boasts were so ignorant and fearless.
Even if I studied myself to death, dreaming of nothing but studying, there was still
a gap of over a hundred points between me and her.
And I knew full well that the remaining hundred points would be the hardest.
It seemed I really couldn’t surpass her anymore.
In that instant, I clearly heard the sound of my heart shattering.
Maybe I just wasn’t good enough, maybe I simply couldn’t compare to her. I was just a loser to begin with.
All my previous efforts were nothing but a useless, self–satisfying struggle.. Not far away, Jason Brooks walked over to my desk.
He stood in front of my desk, looking down at me with a mixture of disdain and pity in his eyes.
“Emily Anderson, Natalie said if you apologize to her, she won’t pursue this matter
further.”
“Natalie is very kind. Please don’t cause any more trouble, okay?”
Natalie also came over, and the surrounding students gradually quieted down and
looked over.
“Emily Anderson, congratulations. I heard you’ve made great progress.” “But, you know, people need to acknowledge their mediocrity. Look at you,
working so hard, but this is your limit.”
“I’m not asking for anything else. If you apologize to me, I’ll forgive you and we can put this behind us.”
Her expression was so condescending, as if granting alms to a beggar.
5/6
09
The self–pity in my heart instantly ignited into a raging fire!
I wasn’t afraid of others looking down on me.
But if I backed down, I wouldn’t be able to face myself!
I slowly stood up and looked her straight in the eye. “There are still three months left. It’s too early to celebrate the winner is yet to be determined.”
–
“Such stubborn words from a dead duck.” She smiled. “I hope you can remain this unyielding when the time comes.”
Although I was very dissatisfied with my score, my homeroom teacher and several other teachers specifically praised me.
They held up my test paper and said happily, “Look at Emily Anderson. In just two months, her grades have gone from the bottom to 27th place!”
“What does this show? It shows that hard work leads to success!”
“All students should learn from Emily Anderson’s example and strive to make progress…”
I felt a bit conflicted as I sat there.
On one hand, I was proud and smug about the progress I had made in just two short months.
On the other hand, I was well aware of the huge gap between Natalie and me. Three months, over a hundred points, more than two hundred places. Could I really do it?
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