04
During the first semester of freshman year, if I didn’t initiate contact, Ethan wouldn’t reach out to me either.
He had his own life, his own circle of friends.
He was outstanding, leading his major, and even voted campus heartthrob.
His photos always featured beautiful girls.
I visited him in New York once.
His friends asked, “Ethan, who’s this chick?”
Ethan said, “The daughter of my dad’s friend.”
I was stunned at that moment.
After knowing each other for ten years, in the end, I didn’t even count as an ordinary friend.
Suddenly, I felt utterly disheartened.
But I wasn’t ready to give up just like that.
I planned for a long time, and on New Year’s Day during the winter break, I seduced Ethan.
We had both been drinking that day. Ethan couldn’t hold his liquor well and quickly became tipsy.
I, however, was unusually clear–headed.
When I got close to him, he didn’t push me away.
I asked, “Ethan Collins, do you know how long I’ve liked you?”
He didn’t say anything.
Feeling that taking advantage of him wasn’t right, I asked again, “Do you know who I am?”
He said, “Lily Knowles.”
When he said my name, it sounded low and enchanting.
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I said, “Are you going to reject me?”
He shook his head and instead wrapped his arms around me tightly.
That night, Ethan was very gentle.
After the impulse passed, we lay in bed, and Ethan said to me, “I’m sorry for lying about the college applications.”
I didn’t respond.
He held onto my arm, sighing helplessly, “I promise I’ll apply for grad school in London, okay?”
As if I cared anymore.
I had already decided to let go.
Tonight, I was just giving myself closure.
After all, I had been foolish for so many years. If I didn’t get him once, it would feel like a loss.
Now that I had, I wouldn’t dwell on it anymore.
Early the next morning, before Ethan woke up, I ran away.
Oh, right.
He had paid for the hotel.
I didn’t want to take advantage of him, so I left two hundred dollars.
But this gesture seemed to cause some misunderstandings…
I deleted all of Ethan’s contact information and completely cut ties with him.
I heard from high school classmates that Ethan felt utterly humiliated and was “hunting” me down everywhere.
He even came to my university.
Several times, but never saw me.
The most memorable was during sophomore year.
My roommate relayed to me:
That day, Ethan was like a volcano about to erupt, desperate to catch me and tear me to pieces.
He stopped my roommate and fiercely asked, “Where has Lily Knowles gone again?!”
My roommate said, “Oh, don’t you know? Today’s May 20th.”
“-She went out to celebrate with her boyfriend.”
At that moment.
It was as if a torrential rain had suddenly extinguished the volcano.
Ethan stood there, stunned, for a long, long time.
