Chapter 16
The following spring-
The night wind was cool, but not piercing.
I had just finished work and went to the Ellison Building to pick up Jane and take her home.
“Mom!”
Jane stumbled and ran over to me, throwing herself into my arms.
I nodded politely to Ryan and said, “You’ve worked hard.”
He quickly waved his hand, muttering softly, completely drowned out by my voice.
“It’s okay, Bella. We were a family.”
“Jane, tell Mom what you did today.”
She was very intelligent and could already produce some vague syllables.
“Books….. books.”
Following her gaze, the yellowed diary was being held messily by her small hand.
A few days ago, I went back to my hometown by myself and suddenly found the lost diary.
Ryan’s gaze was too obvious, staring straight ahead, with a strange anticipation on his face.
February 27th, clear.
My new desk mate was called Bella. She was very beautiful, and she smiled at me.
April 20th, sunny.
She came to my house as a guest and didn’t make fun of me like others did. I liked her.
May 13th, it rained.
It rained today and she didn’t bring an umbrella, so I could take her home.
May 14th, sunny.
I met Bella’s dad, and he was really mean. I need to study hard and take Bella away from here.
January 20th, it snowed.
The first year Bella spent with me.
February 11th, sunny.
The second year that Bella spent with me.
January 28th, clear.
“It was the third year that Bella had spent with me.”
I remained silent for a while and then looked up, saying, “Ryan, you crossed the line.”
“The divorce settlement we previously signed clearly stated that I allowed you to have contact with Jane on the condition that you would not use her as a tool to reconcile our marriage.”
“This is the first time. Because you are her biological father, I will give you one more chance, the last one.”
He remained silent, and his fingers curled up by his side.
Mom, Mom.”
Jane pulled at my pant leg and opened her arms towards me.
She yawned slowly and leisurely.
I put on my shoes and held her in my arms.
“We went home first.”
“No, no Bella, I won’t do anything to annoy you anymore in the future. Have some food before you leave, I made your favorite…”
“It’s okay if you don’t eat. It’s cold outside, so put on your coat!”
“No.”
I lowered my gaze, focused on him, and softly said, “Take some time to do some medical beauty treatments.”
“Ryan, you were not young anymore.”
On the way home, my heart was always calm.
Until bedtime, I impulsively tidied up the house and suddenly swept out a photo that had fallen. under the bed at some unknown time.
That was Ryan when he was seventeen years old.
He was wearing a school uniform, smiling and reaching out his hand to me, with flowers blooming behind him.
However, it has been too long and I can’t make out the words on the back of the photo no matter
+
how hard I try.
Islowly tore it apart and watched as the wind blew it away bit by bit..
It was like a flurry of snow.
When the world was silent, a piece of paper briefly glided through my fingers.
It was just a moment, and disappeared without a trace after a while.
I truly let go.
The second winter after the divorce.
Ryan officially faded out of my life.
heard that he went for plastic surgery and asked the attending physician to make him look like he
was eighteen years old.
When he was able to undergo the surgery, he lay on the operating table and tears kept flowing uncontrollably, which affected the surgical process.
After the failed plastic surgery, he sold his company. Some people said he went to another city to
start a new life, while others said he was too afraid to look in the mirror and eventually committed
suicide.
But it had nothing to do with me. I told Jane that her father had already died.
Life and death separation, it was the first lesson I taught her.
Sometimes, when I was half asleep and half awake, I would also miss the past days, miss the people, from the past, and even miss the eaves where we used to hide from the rain after school.
But I know that once I finish missing you, I will pull myself back into my own life and continue moving forward.
Time passed little by little, and Jane entered junior high school.
She pointed at the textbook and asked me what the meaning of what was written on it.
“What sentence?”
“I do not blame the past, but I know that the future can be pursued.”
