Breakthrough
1/8
Throughout the meal, Genesis was aware of how much Kiefer was trying to keep the conversation flowing, light and easy. He told her stories of when he and Tadgh were boys. He asked for stories about Egan and her life in Calgary. He fed her from his plate laughing at her facial expression as each dish came out with not nearly enough on it to satisfy her.
Their steak and potato dishes held a small stack of thinly sliced potatoes the size of a votive candle and a piece of meat which was half the size of the potato stack. When he’d stuck his fork into the entire entrée, steak and potatoes and shoved it into his mouth in one bite, she’d laughed hard, unable to stop herself.
However, for the last several minutes, after her laughing outburst, he’d been oddly quiet.
“What are you thinking, Kiefer?” she asked after the waiter took their entrée dishes away.
“How much time I’ve lost.”
“Oh.” This was not what she was expecting. She considered. perhaps he was thinking of work or business, but this admission. surprised her.
“It’s hitting me ridiculously hard all of a sudden. Last night seeing the photos of Egan it struck me how much of him I’ve missed with him. Now, this dinner, it’s reminding me of how much I lost with you. We should have shared a thousand dinners. I should have been mal
laugh the way you were
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and as a result of my skewed priorities I lost you.”
She watched incredulously as his eyes watered, and his nose reddened. “Kiefer.”
2/8
“I’m sorry Gen,” he cleared his throat and reached for his waler glass. “Will you excuse me a minute?” he rose from the table and headed in the direction of the men’s bathroom.
She stared confused and sat with her hands folded on her lap in disbelief. Was Kiefer O’Reilly crying? The most curious part of her wanted to go peek into the men’s room to see if she’d imagined the emotion she suspected caused him to nearly run from the table. Giving into it, she threw her napkin on the table and followed him.
Shoving the door open, she found him standing at the sink, gripping the vanity, and staring at himself in the mirror as if he was chastising himself. “What are you doing, Kiefer?”
“Gen, I needed a minute.” His voice was gruff. “Go back to the table. I’ll be out in a minute.” He cleared his throat not meeting her gaze.
“This running off because of your emotions is part of why we got where we are. Stop trying to be the tough guy with me, Kiefer. Stop hiding things from me. Stop leaving me behind!” She moved to stand behind him to look at him in the mirror.
He stared back at her, his eyes reddening and his cheeks a ruddy color. “I fucking missed you, so god damned much, and I hate myself. I hate myself for hurting you. I hate myself for letting our son dic. I hate myself for Egan growing up without his twin. Mostly I hate myself for not hearing you and seeing you were
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to spare me a second of your time.”
“Kiefer,” her voice broke.
“I don’t deserve you.”
“No shit.”
3/8
“I didn’t know I could feel loss the way I feel it. How the fuck did you cope with the pain of losing Roan back then because I’m struggling with it, Gen. It’s killing me the only way I know him is through Egan.” He blinked as fat tears rolled down his checks. while he looked up to the ceiling, his breathing shaky.
She moved towards him, stepping between him and the vanity, and wrapped her arms around his middle, resting her head against his chest and hearing his heartbeat thundering hard against her ear. She felt his entire body shudder as she hugged him, and his arms wound around her. His cheek rested on the top of her head and the sob which tore from his throat nearly.
broke her heart.
“I’m so sorry,” he cried into her hair.
“Shh,” she rubbed his back. She held him while he sobbed painfully for several minutes.
“Fuck this is embarrassing, I’m crying like a baby in a restaurant. bathroom.” He reached past her to grab a handful of paper. towel. “I swear if anyone walks in here, they’re dead by dawn.”
“Last time we were in a bathroom, you were pretty mean to me, so I’ll take this over that any day.”
Breakthrough
4/8
“No. I think you’re a father and husband who has finally realized what the cost of being a massive prick is.” She stood on tiptoes and kissed his mottled check. “Also, can I say you ugly cry worse than a girl.”
He smacked her backside. “I was going to let you have my dessert but for that, I’m eating at least half of it.”
She extricated herself from his hug, “come on. Get yourself together, O’Reilly. Let’s go finish dinner and go home.”
“I thought we were going dancing.”
“I want to keep my toes, thanks.” She met his eyes and noted the disappointment, “but I’d be open to going home and curling up with a movie and snacks in the theatre, just the two of us.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Not a tearjerker though. I’m not watching The Notebook or some other such shit which is going to leave me crying into my pillow alone later.” He sniffed into the paper towel before loudly blowing his nose.
She patted his chest. “Fine. We can watch my new favorite.
movie.”
“You have a new favorite?” he leaned over the sink as he splashed water on his face. “Fuck, I’m red.”
“Ginger problems,” she mocked him. “Yes, I have a new favorite.”
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She smacked him as he laughed at his joke. He took her hand and led her back to the table.
6/8
“What about my head under the blanket,” he whispered in her car as he pulled her seat out.
“No.” she couldn’t help laughing at his sudden playfulness.
“Hmm, no hands or faces under the blanket. I’ve never done something dirty with my feet.”
“You’re gross. I’ve seen your freaky toes, O’Reilly. They’re ast long as fingers.”
“I bet I could make you come with them.”
“We will never try it in a million years.” She shook her head at the brightness in his eyes despite how red they were. “You look like hell.”
“Don’t care. I’m out with my wife. I could be sitting here with two black eyes, a busted lip and a broken nose and my legs in casts and I’d still be happy to be here with you.”
“Fool.”
“Fool in love, I can’t argue.”
The waiter approached and set down plates in front of both of them.
Kiefer looked at the plates and then looked at Genesis and started laughing loudly. The server appeared confused, and Kiefer shook his head, “can you bring us the bill?”
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“Is there a problem?”
“Not at all. We simply want to go home.”
7/8
When the server walked away, Genesis leaned across the table, “Kiefer, it’s a single strawberry dipped in white fucking chocolate. One strawberry. How is this dessert?” She gasped as he shoved his in its entirety in his mouth. “You were supposed to share.”
“I forgot, but you can come take it,” he puckered his lips as if asking for a kiss and she grimaced and followed his movements and ate her berry in one bite.
‘Seriously, Kiefer, I’ve seen more food in the happy meals I buy
Egan.”
Kiefer’s eyes widened and then he moaned, “I could go for a drive–thru burger and fries.”
“And a milkshake.”
“Oh, and one of those hand pies with the strawberry in it.”
“No. One of the sundaes with nuts and fudge on it.”
“Fuck it,” he pulled his billfold out and dropped five–hundred–dollar bills on the table. “Let’s go. I have a date with Barbie and a burger.”
“Don’t forget the blanket.”
“And a blanket. Probably a sock later too.”
Breakthrough
8/8
As they climbed into the back seat, Genesis considered despite how awful the night started, her heart was feeling a fraction. lighter and her rage at Kiefer was diminishing by the second.
Maybe, just maybe, they could move past the hurt and head. towards healing.
