Quiet Conversations
1/8
Genesis was sitting in her bedroom when Kiefer knocked on the door and poked his head in.
“Dad and Nazar are on their way to one of our warehouses to meet with the men and get equipment in order. How are you feeling?”
“Good: Egan is napping.” She smiled, “Monica wore him out with all the games. She’s going to be a great mom someday.”
“Jerren told me watching her play with Egan today was making him think of tossing all his condoms.”
She giggled as Kiefer came and squatted in front of the chair, she’d been sitting in to look out the window overlooking the back garden. “She’s pretty great but he’s surprisingly attentive.”
“He told me he’s doing the opposite of everything I did.” He gave her a sad smile. He took a breath, “you were pretty tough on Nazar today.”
“Confession?”
“Sure.”
“I wanted to just throw myself into his arms. He looks so much like the man I called Dad, and I feel a connection with him I don’t want to feel. I want to hate him for leaving me alone. There
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were so many nights from the time I was six until I was in college where I cried because I felt so alone and to know he was out there hurts.” She took a breath, “but man oh man the little girl who longed for her Dad to come back and take her from the shitty life she was living, she wanted him to hug her and tell her she wasn’t ever going to be alone again.”
He wiped a tear off her cheek with his thumb and nodded, “I can imagine how it feels, Genesis. I think though, by you taking it day by day and making him prove to you he wants to be in your life, it will help you repair the relationship. I could see he was earnest. As a man who missed out on so much of his own child’s life, I can sympathize with the pain he is feeling.”
“What is the plan for this evening?”
“I’ll be here with you for dinner and to help put Egan to bed but then I’ll be leaving to join the rest of the men. We have things happening in stages.”
“I can’t come?”
“No. It’s too much of a risk. I’ll have a small army here to keep you, Egan, and Monica safe. You know where the panic room is and if something happens you need to get into it, you do it. It can only be opened by a code from me or Dad.”
“I know.”
“I love you, Gen. We’re going to get these guys and we’re going to make sure you’re safe and Egan is safe. Then you can relax. We can relax.”
Quiet Conversations
“Then let me come.”
4/8
“Oh, see, I’ll let you but then you need to face Dad. What do you think Daddy is going to do to you if you deliberately disobey his orders.”
She gave a snort, “so you’ll let me do whatever, but you’ll defer to Daddy’s rules.”
“Yes. He scares the shit out of me. Honestly, Tadgh and I were talking about it, last night. You are the bravest person I know because giving him free reign to hurt me is not anything I would dare do.”
“He’d never cause me true injury.” She said it bluntly. “I know it deep in my soul, while I might be sore and limping a bit today, and the sex was rough, he didn’t do anything which I would. have thought was too extreme.” She paused, “well, he brought out this egg–shaped dildo, Kiefer and I was a bit worried he was going to shove it in my butt.”
Kiefer laughed, “he what?”
“He keeps telling me he wants to take my ass. Have you ever seen the man naked?”
“I have multiple times. I would not let him near my ass.
She giggled at Kiefer’s words. “Right? He seems to think with me using what he calls a trainer and letting you and Tadgh double–team me, I’ll be able to take him. I think he’s wrong.
Quiet Conversations
“Whoa,” he looked at her wide–eyed. “He wants us to double–team you?”
5/8
“When I woke up this morning, he was laying there watching me. I asked him what he was thinking, and he said he was thinking of all the ways he wanted to explore my body, and it included anal and how if I got used to the two of you taking turns and even doing double penetration then it would be good.”
Kiefer was stunned and he gave a nervous laugh, “how do you feel about such things?”
“I really enjoyed my time with you and Tadgh on the desk,” she met his eyes without any hesitation, “but you were each at separate ends. I’m not sure about the other. It seems a lot.”
“Well, it won’t happen he first time we’re all together in a bed,” he kissed her forehead. “However, if you want to order some products for yourself to ease yourself into the possibility, I’ll give you my credit card and you can go ahead.”
She questioned him, “when we were together before, we only tried it a couple of times. Why?”
“I never wanted to hurt you. Hurting you and the notion of hurting you, makes my skin crawl. Being rough and choking you is one thing but causing actual pain which might result in tearing,” he shuddered, “makes me uncomfortable.”
The buzzing of Kiefer’s phone in his pocket stopped their conversation and she watched with bated breath as he read a text message with a grim expression.
Quiet Conversations
“What is wrong?”
6/8
“Nazar and Dad left the warehouse with their team. They are going to head to the house now but they’re doing it in stages. It’s going to look like people are coming and going. They have a girl, one of the few women we have on the team, dressed to look like you.”
“They’re using a decoy. What if someone hurts her?” She felt pinpricks of unease coat her skin. All of this felt wrong.
“They’re using her only to be the woman in the house. She’s safe. We need for them to think you are home at the old house.”
“I don’t like it.”
“I know.” He bit his lip and then got up, “come on. Let’s go wake Egan from the nap and spend some time with him before I need to leave. I’m the last to go home, so to speak, because it will mimic me coming back from the office.”
She took his hand and let him lead her out of her room. She tugged him back, “promise me, tonight, promise me you’ll be safe and not take any stupid risks.”
“I promise you, Genesis. I’m coming home to you. I’m coming home to my family.”
“I’m holding you to this.”
“I know.”
Quiet Conversations
They went into Egan’s room and they both stood over his bed and watched as his eyes flitted behind his eyelids.
“He’s dreaming.” Kiefer said quietly.
7/8
“Don’t wake him yet,” she said back. “I never like to wake him from a dream. I never know if it’s a normal dream or one of his special dreams.‘
“I didn’t even think of that.” Kiefer sat on the edge of the bed and watched their son sleep. “Do you think he will always have dreams like these?”
“Part of me, really wants for Roan to always be with him,” she said standing there observing Kiefer, “but there is a part of me which wants Roan to be at peace. I don’t know what he does in the times between his visits with Egan and if I think he’s there because he’s not at peace or in some kind of limbo, it hurts me.”
“I hadn’t considered it from this angle.”
“I hate thinking he’s there alone waiting for the next time Egan can cross the water to him. However, the idea of Egan losing him and not communicating with him, breaks my heart.”
“You really think of all the possibilities, huh?”
“They are my sons. I swear I constantly think the worst possible scenario every time.”
“We’ll keep him safe and whether Roan is here for a fleeting
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time or the rest of Egan’s life, we will make sure Roan is always part of our family, Gen. He can’t be here in body, but he is here in spirit. We will keep him alive.”
She hugged him sideways and kissed the top of his head as he brushed hair off Egan’s face. “Let’s leave him sleep a bit longer.”
“You sure? He might be up later.”
“I can put him to bed on my own, in fact I might actually sleep with him tonight if he lets me. I feel I need to be closer to him for some reason.”
“Okay, then let’s go down to my office and do some online. shopping.” his eyes teased her as she shook her head at his playfulness.
With each normal conversation she and Kiefer shared, without the anger and without the resentment, she was falling deeper in love with him, the way she once was. Linking her fingers through his as they made their way through the house, she prayed the nervous feeling settling deep in her belly wasn’t a premonition. If she’d only just gotten over the hatred to lose him. tonight, she wasn’t sure what she would do.
B
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